guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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