barbara walters just said penis...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize