She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people