My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n