Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
