I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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