I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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