why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There are leaves in my underwear?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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