He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
