It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
