I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You work out of a Hotel?
where does the pee come out of this thing
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
