I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
