my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it's like iHOP with fire
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
