She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize