i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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