well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
