you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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