I think I died a long time ago.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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