Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
