hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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