For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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