when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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