there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
They took my balls.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
