I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize