Are we in a gay sports bar?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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