dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
