just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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