She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
