so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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