and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
