Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
