He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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