Apparently you make a good broom.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
