I need help removing her.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
