Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
