So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
