Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
