This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
