I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
