I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
