you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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