im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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