He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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