It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
