well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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