mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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