i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I wear drunk well.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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