Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
