idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
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oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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