so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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