I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
