Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
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Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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