I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
