ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
