There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Rumble strips road head = magical
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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