I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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