do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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