He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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