I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Randomize
