I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
