Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
