why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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