found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
