you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize