I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize