you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
