i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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