If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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