Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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